That time I ran away with the circus.

I really do, I always forget and do something else instead.  Shower, sleep, work, studying french, going out.  All of these things trump writing in my blog.  I am however getting better at taking photos of stuff.  So if you know me and have the link to my flickr I have been putting stuff up and tomorrow I will add pictures from our Christmas party. For Christmas I flew to my parents house in Philadelphia and suprised my family.  My sisters and mom actually cried.  Everyone else was just happy I was there.  I did however get very sick about six hours into my 32 hour trip home.  I had a 103 degree fever and spent the night shivering in front of the fire at my parents house with about four blankets on top of me.  I was freezing and the great thing is that my mom slept in the family room with me so every time I woke up there she was to make sure I was alright or get me water which was nice.  Depending on people I have only been touring with for five months when I am that sick is not something I had any desire to do.  So going home was great I got to be sick around the only people in the world I want when I am sick.  It also made me realize that I somehow became a grown up because on Christmas day I got on a plane and flew back to Montreal alone and sick as a dog.  Immigration loved me.  I actually took a day off of work because I was to sick to come in, also because I did not want to get the whole tour sick with my plague.  That would have been much worse than me skipping a day.  It was nice though when I came in on Thursday and everyone was asking me where I had been and tried to give me a hug, I stopped everyone from doing that and told them I was sick.  But I am getting better and am going out tonight since two of my friends from Brooklyn are here and throwing a party on St. Laurent tonight.  So I will probably do more harm than good to myself by going out but whatever I have no really explored this town yet and really won’t get very many chances since we have two shows a day till sunday.  I do have off the 31st and 1st though.  I will spend part of the 1st traveling to Quebec City with everyone though.  Then on the 2nd I start another run of shows, followed by five days off.  JOY!  

It is hard to explain how someone becomes a part of your heart.  Even harder to describe how a dozen or so cram their way in there.  You will never be able to remember every story or moment but you have all of them, they make you.  Having none of everyday for months.  Being deprived of the happiness someone’s mere presence can cause is painful.  Noticing that someone else is beginning to be that and when you look around you realize they are one of the elite few and the only one you see from day to day in the current life you lead is scary.  Knowing that all your immediate happiness is about everything you are doing but now includes this person is shocking.   What happens when you go back to where the most pieces of your heart reside.  In different people who know you better than you know yourself.  Do you waver in the comfort of the person you rely on when everyone else is so far away. NYC on the 14th.  Just two more days to where my heart is, to where I am me, to where the joy is everywhere I turn.