January 28, 2009
Air travel is amazing. I am currently flying over the Atlantic heading to Munich stretched across two seats on the biggest airplane I have ever been on. It is 8 seats across and literally has three different sections, first of course and two sections of coach. Each seat has its own television and then you can select the different movies, tv, or music you want to listen to. It is good stuff. I have watched the first two episodes of sex and the city, half of a show called how I met your mother which I would need drugs to watch again, Post Grad and now The Time Travelers wife which I am excited about because I read the book. Though I have seen his mother die like three times and I don’t really want to see it again.
I am both excited and apprehensive about this trip, it is nice because I am getting a virtually free trip to Barcelona for two weeks. I am nervous because I was with these people for several years and then when it was really getting good was not able to continue on to Europe. I am afraid because I used to fit in with them and they were mine and I was theirs, now I am not sure if that will go back to how it was. But I intend to do what I want when I want and to work out every day, get myself back in the groove of taking care of myself. My old best friend on the tour and I had a falling out three months before I left. He apparently still does not care if I am alive or dead so we shall see how that works. But I will get to see several people who mean a great deal to me.
Niki is one of my favorite people in the world. She is the bubbliest most pleasant person I have ever met. She gives me a hug every time I see her, she is encouraging and positive, she is amazing. I need her in my life and was fortunate enough to see in November but under sad circumstances.
Next up is Robinson. Who is my own personal giant. He is a tall hippie, who loves the desert, golf and john stewart. Oh and Chocolate, dark chocolate. He is just as supportive as Niki but not as much of a hugger. He looks out for me and guides me, when I have choices to make. He also does not judge me which is great, because he has seen me do some pretty stupid things and people. Which is unfortunate because his opinion of me is important, and even though he says he still loves me and I am a great person I know he disagrees with some of my choices. I have not seen him in 125 days.
Tyler is Niki’s boyfriend and has been for a long time, they own homes right next to each other in Toronto. He has always been a great person for me, funny and nice. A person I am so happy is part of my life. I wish I could talk to him more but he is not really an email kind of guy. But he is amazing and the last time I saw him was because of the sad circumstances I mentioned above. His brother died and he had to come home from Europe, Niki came with him and they had a lay over in New York for several hours on their way back to tour.
I have kind of come to the conclusion that the rest of the people are not incredibly important. There are people that I am excited to see, Doce, Joy, Josh, Clare, etc. But those three are my top three, that I would fly half way around the world to hang out with. I need a hug from each of them, and some laughs and then I will be ok. I need to talk to them about the tour I am about going on in 29 days, the life and difficulties I am going to face. I am so excited for this, and I think that is why I was so nervous to get on this plane. They are the people that know me now, when I started touring I was a different person than I am now. I left the people that had known me the best and traveled the world for years. When I go back they want the person they knew and I am no longer that woman. I am different and I will never be the one that they knew. These people saw me grow up, they saw me learn and change and grow. I am happy to get to see them again, and I really cannot get there fast enough. Now if only this crying baby would go to sleep!
Back tracking a bit, Christmas with my family was stressful and drove me insane. I am not cut out for consistent family time. Even if I lived by them I don’t think that I would be capable of being around them all the time. I have been unemployed for 125 days over 65 of those days have not been spent at my parents house. This does not seem to affect how I feel about them. Unfortunately I am pretty sure it is only my mother that makes me feel this way. Which is unfortunate, I used to be able to get along with her so well but now I can barely stand the sound of her voice. Maybe that is why I run off into the world without looking back, but every once in a while I really need her. Like I am on the road and it makes me cry that my mom is not there, sick to my stomach homesick. So I have traveled during this free time to California, New York, Philadelphia, Las Vegas, New Jersey, Virginia, and now Europe for two weeks. My family got me 105 dollars in itunes gift cards, a smelly travel thing, which I am actually excited about though surely doomed to forget the first time I use it. But it was such a nice thought. I also got some socks, an incredibly ugly vera Bradley back pack (thanks mom) and socks. These things reflect my families knowledge of me. Though I guess me living out of suitcases does not really allow them that much flexibility on what to buy me.
Oh well first world problems in the end I am all good, and a very very lucky person. Happy New Year!
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